Comments from Westwood…

Alo darts playas, Westwood in da house.

First of all please accept my apologies fa da lateness of dis match report. I ave bin for real busy.

So to da match, wot an end to da season a 7-2 win against local rivals da prince george, a wicked result and a wicked end to an massiv season.

First up was da Sarbutts geeza, he played aight but lost. Da next few games were nip and tuck and da game was level at 2-2 wiv young Liam and da forma main man Calvert winnin. Then compton style, bang bang five games without reply. There were some wicked performances, I tip my tommy to da bruvers Proffitt, Metcalfe and Tod who all played like winners. So i check forward to next season, where we’ll be playin from da railway. Ave a wicked summa and i will check yous there!

Peace.

The Different Strokes titles with alternate music, and slightly edited in terms of color and aging filters… This has turned out far more creepy than I thought it would.

Hello, my name is Brick Tamland and I’m the weather man, I work with Ron.

Ron asked me to come and watch, I was stood outside the Foresters for 4 hours and nothing seemed to be happening, that was on Wednesday.  I rang Ron and he said that you play on a Thursday and it would be at the railway.  After visiting 37 train stations I was told that the railway is a club, so I was then on my way.

I arrived just in time to see the ex-skipper lose to Alan Williams arch nemesis, I think I went to school with that guy.  After that opening faux pas the match was taken with seven games on the trot.  I must say I liked watching the match, I’m fond of throwing things myself, namely spears or tridents.

I had to leave soon after the game as it was dark and there were wolves after me.  Some people say I have mental problems but me myself and I couldn’t agree more.

Ron should be back next week, thanks for having me, I’m Brian Fantana, no I’m Ron, no wait, wait, I’m Veronica no that’s not right either, erm I’m Brick? Yes I’m Brick Tamland.

Following multiple tenders being submitted, skipper Dave Ainscough (head of the Relocation Comittee) determined that the Railway ticked all the boxes.

The new season in the Premier League promises to be very interesting indeed.

In a very close encounter against the Sefton, the Foresters won 5-4 to secure the league and their place among darts elite for next season.  Messages of congratulations have been received from his holiness the Pope, President Obama, Nelson Mandela, David Ginola and Roy “Catchphrase” Walker.

It is also with sad news that the Foresters will not be the Foresters next season. Unfortunately the home of darts has had to close and there will be a new home of darts for next season. We would like to thank Joe and Jo for doing so much for the team over the years.

Premier Division

White Zone

Blue Zone

Hello Foresters, I’m Ron Burgundy,

The Headlines tonight, Everton’s Victor Anichebe is still looking for his leg after sunday’s game at Newcastle, Dad’s Army’s Captain Mainwearing spotted in Walton, but first, The Foresters lose their 2nd league game of the season.

Apologies if ths commentary is only 64% accurate as I was unable to attend last nights game due to a prior engagement, I was indulging in a bit of Afternoon Delight if you know what I mean?!  My little Gentleman friend Baxter went along to watch you guys and he has reported back to me like the faithful beast that he is.

The Foresters approached the game a little under strength and the cause was not helped by what can only be described as a balls up of monumental proportions by Alan Proffit playing against the opposition’s worst player, what happened?  5 visits later and Whammy, as my good friend Champ Kind would say, all square.  But it meant that young Stephen had to play against a better player in the decider and as we all know, Stephen is not the best under pressure especially with that big old lampshade lurking over him like some kind of scorpion woman!

So we lost, but the evening was not entirely wasted, you were all treated to the joy to behold of a 24 visits to the board epic by Andrew Nesbit.  I could have played an entire concerto on my Jazz Flute in the time they took to play that game.  It was a disgrace to the game of darts and for that Andrew should be banished to whore island for one week.

I hope to be back in person next week, so until then,

You stay classy Foresters.