Prince George 2 – 7 Foresters

Comments from Westwood…

Alo darts playas, Westwood in da house.

First of all please accept my apologies fa da lateness of dis match report. I ave bin for real busy.

So to da match, wot an end to da season a 7-2 win against local rivals da prince george, a wicked result and a wicked end to an massiv season.

First up was da Sarbutts geeza, he played aight but lost. Da next few games were nip and tuck and da game was level at 2-2 wiv young Liam and da forma main man Calvert winnin. Then compton style, bang bang five games without reply. There were some wicked performances, I tip my tommy to da bruvers Proffitt, Metcalfe and Tod who all played like winners. So i check forward to next season, where we’ll be playin from da railway. Ave a wicked summa and i will check yous there!

Peace.

Opponents	vs	Foresters Player	3 Dart Ave	Checkout	Result	Score
K Wareing	vs	S Sarbutts	41.57	-	LOST	1-0
C Johnson	vs	L Williams	50.17	15	WON	1-1
I Simpson	vs	C Moss	53.80	-	LOST	2-1
F Blaney	vs	J Calvert	30.10	8	WON	2-2
N Simpson	vs	K Woods	27.36	2	WON	2-3
W Johnson	vs	A Proffitt	75.25	16	WON	2-4
J T Gas	vs	J Metcalfe	43.00	76	WON	2-5
W Kirkby	vs	J Vickers	43.00	4	WON	2-6
T Peet	vs	A Tod	75.25	36	WON	2-7

Disturbing Strokes

The Different Strokes titles with alternate music, and slightly edited in terms of color and aging filters… This has turned out far more creepy than I thought it would.

Cat vs Fish Tank

Wait for it…. Wait for it…. Wait for it

The Foresters 7 – 2 Royal Oak

Comments from Brick Tamland…

Hello, my name is Brick Tamland and I’m the weather man, I work with Ron.

Ron asked me to come and watch, I was stood outside the Foresters for 4 hours and nothing seemed to be happening, that was on Wednesday.  I rang Ron and he said that you play on a Thursday and it would be at the railway.  After visiting 37 train stations I was told that the railway is a club, so I was then on my way.

I arrived just in time to see the ex-skipper lose to Alan Williams arch nemesis, I think I went to school with that guy.  After that opening faux pas the match was taken with seven games on the trot.  I must say I liked watching the match, I’m fond of throwing things myself, namely spears or tridents.

I had to leave soon after the game as it was dark and there were wolves after me.  Some people say I have mental problems but me myself and I couldn’t agree more.

Ron should be back next week, thanks for having me, I’m Brian Fantana, no I’m Ron, no wait, wait, I’m Veronica no that’s not right either, erm I’m Brick? Yes I’m Brick Tamland.

Home Player	3 Dart Ave	Checkout	vs	Opponent	Result	Score
J Calvert	28.13	-	vs	J McGovern	LOST	0-1
S Sarbutts	27.36	6	vs	P Clemenson	WON	1-1
J Vickers	37.63	40	vs	H Mooney	WON	2-1
K Woods	37.63	10	vs	J Clohessy	WON	3-1
C Moss	21.50	14	vs	G Peet	WON	4-1
J Metcalfe	37.63	4	vs	I Warham (Snr)	WON	5-1
J Doyle	33.44	10	vs	I Warham (Jnr)	WON	6-1
A Proffitt	60.20	8	vs	D Peet	WON	7-1
A Nesbit	26.78	-	vs	G McGrady	LOST	7-2

The Home of Darts Has a New Home

The Home of Darts has a new home, we will finish the season at the B.R.N.E.S.C (aka the Railway) on Melling Road.

Following multiple tenders being submitted, skipper Dave Ainscough (head of the Relocation Comittee) determined that the Railway ticked all the boxes.

The new season in the Premier League promises to be very interesting indeed.

Foresters Win League!!!

Darts finally came home on Thursday as the Foresters were crowned league champions. As you can see from the picture taken on the streets of Liverpool, the news was met with joy with celebrations lasting literally hours.

In a very close encounter against the Sefton, the Foresters won 5-4 to secure the league and their place among darts elite for next season.  Messages of congratulations have been received from his holiness the Pope, President Obama, Nelson Mandela, David Ginola and Roy “Catchphrase” Walker.

It is also with sad news that the Foresters will not be the Foresters next season. Unfortunately the home of darts has had to close and there will be a new home of darts for next season. We would like to thank Joe and Jo for doing so much for the team over the years.

What Does a Dog Look Like When its in a Trance?

League Table 06-03-09

Teams	P	W	L	Pts
Foresters	18	16	2	32
Sefton Aintree	15	11	4	22
Hermitage	16	11	5	22
Westminster	16	11	5	22
Walton SC	16	10	6	20
Springfield	17	9	8	18
Harroden	15	9	6	18
Spellow Bar	16	7	9	14
Breeze Hotel	17	6	11	12
Medlock	16	4	12	8
Prince George	15	2	13	4
Royal Oak	15	1	14	2

The Springfield 5 – 4 The Foresters

Comments from Ron Burgundy…

Hello Foresters, I’m Ron Burgundy,

The Headlines tonight, Everton’s Victor Anichebe is still looking for his leg after sunday’s game at Newcastle, Dad’s Army’s Captain Mainwearing spotted in Walton, but first, The Foresters lose their 2nd league game of the season.

Apologies if ths commentary is only 64% accurate as I was unable to attend last nights game due to a prior engagement, I was indulging in a bit of Afternoon Delight if you know what I mean?!  My little Gentleman friend Baxter went along to watch you guys and he has reported back to me like the faithful beast that he is.

The Foresters approached the game a little under strength and the cause was not helped by what can only be described as a balls up of monumental proportions by Alan Proffit playing against the opposition’s worst player, what happened?  5 visits later and Whammy, as my good friend Champ Kind would say, all square.  But it meant that young Stephen had to play against a better player in the decider and as we all know, Stephen is not the best under pressure especially with that big old lampshade lurking over him like some kind of scorpion woman!

So we lost, but the evening was not entirely wasted, you were all treated to the joy to behold of a 24 visits to the board epic by Andrew Nesbit.  I could have played an entire concerto on my Jazz Flute in the time they took to play that game.  It was a disgrace to the game of darts and for that Andrew should be banished to whore island for one week.

I hope to be back in person next week, so until then,

You stay classy Foresters.

Opponents	vs	Foresters Player	3 Dart Ave	Checkout	Result	Score
M Seahill	vs	J Vickers	25.00	-	LOST	1-0
R Howarth	vs	J Fearon	29.30	-	LOST	2-0
R Danber	vs	A Williams	43.00	40	WON	2-1
G Barrett	vs	L Williams	35.80	-	LOST	3-1
P Blundell	vs	A Nesbit	12.46	2	WON	3-2
K Brand	vs	J Metcalfe	43.00	10	WON	3-3
T Hart	vs	D Ainscough	31.13	-	LOST	4-3
G Welsh	vs	A Proffitt	60.20	60	WON	4-4
G Hoare	vs	S Sarbutts	35.13	-	LOST	5-4

Sneak Preview of “Under Seige 3 – Last Train to Delhi”

This looks like this could be a dark horse for the Special Effects Oscar.